NOOOO
by SleepilyHaunted
Summary: This is in Bella's P.O.V and totally OOC and random I started writing it at 1:38 in the morning it is now 3:40 in the morning uuuh ok so Barney T.V BunnySecret a bunch of randomness and stuff! It is rated T because i said wtf but not wtf!


Ok I'm writing a totally random dumb stupid gay story! It's 1:38 in the morning and I've had way too many cherries blueberries and need I say it? SUGAR!!!!!!!!

Let the story begin as you probably know by now OOC!

Bella's P.O.V

I was flipping channels randomly, I was at Edward's house and everyone was doing something.

I stopped on a channel and realized it was Barney and screamed at the top of my lungs "BARNEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

At this Emmet ran down the stairs like an exited 3 year old which he was at heart…and mind.

"Where?" he asked looking around franticly "where is Barney!!!!!?????"

I giggled and said "Hiding"

Emmet looked sacred "From whom? Anyone Barney is ascared of so am I!"

I laughed uncontrollably a HUGE vampire who could easily kill any human was scared of something Barney was.

"You!!" I screamed! Emmet's eyes widened

Emmet started to cry tearless sobs. "WHY BARNEY WHY??" he yelled sobbing

He looked clearly sad I felt very bad.

"Emmet, I'm so sorry I lied he isn't scared of you he's in the T.V!"

Emmet looked horrified "NOOOOOOO BARNEY!!!!!" He then proceeded to rip the T.V in parts trying to get Barney out

"Barney…Barney! BARNEY!!!!!!!!!!!" He screamed

Do I need to say it? No, Barney did not come out

Carlisle came out and said "Emmet! This is the 5th T.V this month what was it this time Tweedy?"

I giggled even Carlisle knew about Emmet's obsessions with baby shows characters.

"Sorry Carlisle my fault this time I told Emmet Barney was stuck in it"

Carlisle started laughing uncontrollably and Emmet glared at him

"Just because I'm worried about my BEST FRIEND doesn't mean you have a right to laugh at me!"

I looked confused "What?"

Emmet said "I don't know!"

Carlisle and I laughed again by this time Alice, Rosalie, Edward, and Esme had come down the stairs.

Edward knew what had happened but the others were utterly baffled

(_**A/N yes I know vampire hearing they know but it's now 2:13 in the morning and I'm NUTS so bear with my randomness HYPERMANIA!) **_

Rosalie looked at the "T.V" and smacked Emmet upside the head "EMMET you ruined another T.V!"

Alice started laughing "I saw the vision about BARNEY but this is SO much funnier!"

Emmet looked ashamed at the T.V and said "T.V I'm very sorry about killing you i don't know how I'm going to make it up to you"

I grinned "I KNOW!"

Emmet looked at e with hope in his eyes he hoped that this would work

"We can have a funeral for it!" I yelled

Emmet screamed "YES PERFECT!!"

I grinned again and said "Edward gather the body"

Edward rolled his eyes and said "uuuuuh…NO"

Emmet glared at Edward "my ONE chance to make things right with the T.V and you say uuuuuh NO!" He pounced on Edward punching him as he went

Edward was too surprised to fight back when he was back to his senses he fought with all his might back he and Emmet were rolling all over the place.

Esme screamed "DON'T YOU DARE MESS UP MY HOUSE!!!!!!"

I was terrified of Esme at this moment I had never seen her yell let alone scream.

Emmet got off Edward in a hurry but glared menacingly until he gathered the "body" of the T.V.

I walked out of the house with Emmet in tow and Edward not far behind with the "body" of the T.V.

I found the perfect spot and told Emmet to make a tombstone for the T.V

"Eddy-kens put poor T.V over here" I said "HER NAME IS TELLIE!" Emmet screamed from where he was carving the tombstone.

I told Alice to dig a hole for the "body" when she refused Emmet growled at her and she ran at vampire speed to the shed to get a shovel.

Just then we all felt a rumble and heard a loud pfffffffffffffffffffft I swear if Emmet could blush he would

"SORRY" he yelled as we all covered our noses

"Oh My Carlisle" we all screamed in unison and ran as fast as we could –which wasn't very fast for me- Edward was trying his best to stay with me.

Finally he just picked me up and ran. We all heard a thundering behind us as Emmet ran after us yelling "WHAT ABOUT TELLIE!!!!????"

I immediately let go of Edward and jumped into Emmet, Edward looked hurt and turned around and followed me and him.

I looked at the tomb stone pitched in the ground in front of the hole full of the "body"

It read:

_Tellie Cullen_

_Loved and Cherished By Emmet_

_2007-…2007_

_Murdered trying to get Barney out of it_

_We will miss you_

I smiled sadly "I'm so sorry Emmet"

Edward snickered and Emmet lunged at him

"NEVER"…"INSULT"…"TELLIE" he yelled between punches

Esme screamed again "DON'T YOU 2 DARE MESS UP MY GARDEN"

Emmet and Edward stopped fighting immediately again

I asked "Emmet, would you like to say a few words?"

Emmet nodded but he said "WAIT WE IS NOT WHEREING BLACK!!!"

(_**A/N I DID NOT PUT WE IS I PUT WE'RE AND IT CORRECTED IT TO THAT BUT I LIKE IT!!)**_

When everyone left but Jasper he stayed he was already whereing black he always did he went emo after Edward had left me he had been so depressed Jasper went emo

Now how a vampire with marble skin could be emo I don't know he started drawing on the tombstone when he stood back no one was back yet but I reveled myself to see his work

What I saw made me laugh my head off :

_Tellie Cullen_

_Loved and Cherished By Emmet_

_2007-…2007_

_Murdered trying to get Barney out of it_

_We will miss you_

_('.')_

_(")(")_

_BUNNY!!!!!!_

"Jasper Hale" I scolded "you ruined the tombstone!" he started laughing and I joined in

Emmet came up with the rest of the family dressed in black he glanced at the tombstone and yelled "JASPER HALE YOU AND YOUR FREAKUY BUNNY LOVING SELF BETTER RUN!"

Jasper took off with me still on the ground laughing

Alice shook her head and said "My husband is a bunny loving freak now you all know our secret"

I looked at her "What the fuck?" I asked she said "Jasper ONLY feeds off bunnies he won't feed off anything else…"

I couldn't help it I started laughing again everyone looked at me and started laughing at Alice too except Alice that is

Emmet came back with Jasper

He looked at the tombstone and said "Tellie I am truly sorry I killed you it's just BELLA said that you were trapping Barney and Barney is my best friend and you were hurting him!"

I looked at him and said "Emmet he was perfectly happy I saw the smile they painted on his face!"

Emmet looked at me blankly

"I loved you Tellie" he said Rosalie slapped Emmet upside the head again but this time with her Prada heel

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW" He said

Well that's it for now it is 3:35 in the morning and my dad is going to kill me for being up so late so tell him and you're all dead! I really like this random story and it is being left at that this is a one-shot if you like it a lot then I hope u review saying that 15 reviews saying NO ONESHOT and I will add another chapter with love Emily!


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